The Adventures of Flybunny

All Clear

Baby girl had her head CT this morning and everything is normal in her sweet little noggin.  I did have a brief moment of panic when the pediatrician called this afternoon with the results because at the hospital they told me it would be 24-48 hrs before we got results and in my past experiences, when you get quick results it is because there is a problem but luckily that was not the case.  We are still going to see the neurologist next week for an EEG just to make sure that her brain waves are normal  but I am not worried at all now.   Sending kudos to the nurses at our children's hospital - they were able to get baby girl to sleep before the CT so they didn't have to sedate her.  That made me very happy. 

And the tweenie's soccer team placed second in a tournament this weekend and it was a lot of fun to watch them finally have some success because prior to this weekend her team had never won more than 1 game in a tournament.

Hope everything in your world is A OK! 

How much is enough?

I have someone who is in my life but not by my choice and this person has caused me more stress than should be allowed.  After the past couple of days, I am at my wits end but I am not sure how to proceed.

Because of this persons relationship with someone I love and respect, I cannot completely cut them out of my life but I desperately want to.  This is not someone I would seek out a relationship with because the qualities that are key to their personality are ones that I despise - neediness, materiality, passive-aggressive behavior, self centered etc.  I walk on egg shells with this person because feelings are VERY EASILY hurt by the most innocent things and then things get dramatic and then I have to be the bigger person etc etc. 

I am tired of being the bigger person and on Friday I had had enough and lashed out at this person - not in a horribly mean way but I did not back down from my stance and predictably things went south.  I am at the point now where I will not accept phone calls from them nor will I return text messages or e-mails of which there are many. 

My problem is that when my loved one finds out about this latest "incident" I am afraid our relationship will be damaged.  So I am not sure how to proceed.  I don't want to be the one to make nice this time.  I want this person to realize that they WAY over reacted to something that in the grand scheme of life is very insignificant.  I want them to apologize for the over reaction but I know that won't happen and this time, I will not back down.  So that will leave us at an impasse of sorts and I guess it will come down to who is the most stubborn.   

What I really want to know is how much you would put up with? How many times would you endure the drama over the smallest of things?  Knowing that this person will never see the reality of the situation, would you stand your ground or would you back down to preserve the peace and your relationship with this other person?  I really really am interested in your thoughts....

 

Coaching for a Cause

In 2001, both my Mom and Mr Fly's Mom were diagnosed with cancer - mine with lung cancer, his with ovarian cancer.  Mr F's mom died in Oct of 2002 - I wrote this in 2006 and it is still probably the best post I have ever written, IMO and it still makes me cry every time I read it.

Before the HS girls season started Mr F decided that he wanted to raise awareness about Ovarian Cancer because it get so little attention in the media or else where.  All cancers are scary but this cancer is especially so because the symptoms can often be attributed to other more benign illnesses and often it is.  It so scary that the slogan is "it whispers, so listen" because often it is found too late to do anything for it, as was the case with his Mother.

Tomorrow night his HS girls will be wearing teal jersey's during his first ever coaching for a cause game.  Before the game they will pay tribute to his Mom and the honorary captain for the night is a co-worker that is currently battling ovarian cancer.  If she feels up to it, Mrs M will be on the field for the coin toss.  On his own, he contacted the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition and got tons of materials that will be handed out to all the fans.  He was telling a coaching buddy about the game and his buddy  did some research and decided that he too wanted to do something so HIS HS team is doing the same thing and they are donating the take from the gate to research.

I know doing this type of event is hard and brings up many different emotions but he is persevering.  He wrote the tribute for his Mother himself and it is fantastic.  He wants to make this a tradition and in the fall he wants to do lung cancer - for my Mom.  I am so proud of my husband for doing this and for his passion in doing this.  He has inspired others to take action all in the name of his Mother. 

So tomorrow night, we will be proudly wearing our teal shirts and cheering for our favorite team and remembering the woman who meant so much to all of us and hoping and praying for a cure. 

Hello Again & Asking for help

After a longer than anticipated absence, I have decided that I am going to dust this off and try again. I had several posts written in my mind but couldn't get motivated to actually login and post.  Honestly, I was really struggling with my blogging persona because I am a lay it all on the line person.  I don't hide much from anyone and I felt myself holding back on some things (out of respect for some people but also because I feared judgment on some other things) and it was really bothering me.  I still don't quite know where I have landed on it yet so I am really interested to see if I will let it all hang out.

I have lots of things to catch you all up on but there is one thing I need your help on because you see my sweet sweet baby girl (who is 10 months old OMG almost a 1 how did that happen???) needs your prayers.  In early March she was sitting on the carpeted floor just playing away and she lost her balance and fell backwards.  I didn't get all excited because I didn't want to scare her but she made a sound that wasn't normal.  I went a picked her up just as her eyes rolled back in her head.  She went limp and quit breathing.  For the first time EVER I called 911 as I watched her go completely pale and get blue around her lips.  By the time the paramedics got her (less than 2 minutes, they are awesome) she was coming around and after a visit to our local children's hospital it was determined that she had an impact seizure.  Basically it is the equivalent of an adult hitting their head hard enough to see stars but our brains are mature enough to process it and hers is not.  No indication of anything more sinister lurking in there etc but enough to shave 50 years off my life span.  We went on our merry way.

Wednesday it happened again.  She was standing up holding onto my legs and fell through them and bonked her head on the cabinet.  I didn't think it was very hard but she did the silent scream and then went limp again with the eyes rolling around.  This one only lasted about 30 seconds and I don't know that she quit breathing but at the insistence of the pediatrician on call we headed back to the hospital where we proceeded to spend 6 hours trying to get the nosiest baby in the world to go to sleep so they wouldn't have to sedate her so she could get a head CT.  Needless to say that did not happen.  While we were there she also decided to throw up everything she had eaten in the past 2 hours.  Luckily it only hit my shoes, unluckily I didn't have any socks on and it was pretty gross.  This caused some breathing issues as it appeared that she sucked back in some mucous so she had to be deep suctioned and then have a breathing treatment.  They tried to give her an oral sedation that caused her to turn into a lunatic that was hell bent on biting me.  At 1:15 a.m. I told the Dr I was done.  I was not going to let them strap her down and scream the entire time, I was not going to let them do an IV sedation because that would mean we would be there for another 2 hrs minimum.  We left and promised to follow up with our pediatrician.  She was totally herself (other than the biting stuff) at this point - crawling all over the place, laughing and being over the top cute) so I felt comfortable taking her home.

So anyway, because this has now happened twice we need to get confirmation that there isn't anything sinister lurking in that tiny noggin so we have a head CT scheduled for first thing April 28th.  We also have to visit a seizure clinic to see a neurologist so they can run an EEG on her to make sure her brain waves are normal.  So if you could help us out and send us some thoughts that everything is normal, I would appreciate more than I could ever express. 

I know in my heart that everything is fine.  She is such a happy baby and she is meeting or exceeding all of her milestones for her age so this is really a better safe than sorry scenario but it really does scare the ever living hell out of me.  I have reservations about the sedation and injecting dye into her.  I know it is safe and she will be well taken care of but it still gives me pause.  I have to try very hard to keep myself from playing the "what if" game.  I am pretty successful but sometimes, I give in and it always ends with me in tears. 

So there it is, I stay away for months on end and come back and ask for something, please accept my apologies and now that I am once again no longer working, I will try to be more diligent in posting.  I really do need the release that blogging affords me.