This is very very long, my apologies up front.
The past 10 days have contained 4 surgeries for 3 members of my family, 7 dr's appointments, 4 day visit from SIL and family, 5 days of middle school training and 4 days of pottery camp, many many tears and more stress than I could ever imagine well maybe I could imagine more stress but for my fragile psyche it has been pretty tough.
7/29 Mr Fly had knee surgery. It was not an emergency, he hurt it playing soccer back in June. The surgery went well and he is recovering nicely but it added an extra layer of complexity to what would happen the next day. As an aside, they gave him versed to relax him, told him it would make him feel like he had a 4 martini lunch. As they wheeled him away they asked him if he felt like he had had the 2nd martini and he quipped that he would have rather have had a mojito. I laughed as I told him "You know how I know your gay??" Yes the last thing my husband heard before he went under was his own wife questioning his sexuality - wife of the year sitting right here!
7/30 Took Mr F to lunch (he is not a sit at home person) ran a couple of errands and took him home for a healthy dose of painkillers and ice and for me to take a shower (this will be important later). Get phone call from Dad, he is an ambulance on his way up to a hospital in our fair city with a case of appendicitis. I meet him at hospital to asses the situation. They will be doing surgery but not sure when. Call FIL to come be with Mr F and kids leave to run home to pick up baby and pick up dinner for everyone (except me, forgot about me)and head back to hospital. He goes into surgery around 8:30 and is out by 9:30 - did great. I headed home around 10:30, exhausted, hungry and smelly.
7/31 Have an important appointment with therapist in afternoon and Dad is getting released at some point. He calls in morning and gets me all worked up telling me he will be released at 12:08 and he would just sit around in the lobby until I could come get him. I tell him I will be there in 30 min to talk to nurse. Drop Smiley off at the sitter's and head to the hospital to find out Dad had read the board in his room wrong and the would not be releasing him until he farted and no it certainly would not be until much later in the afternoon if he was lucky. Too late to go home and shower so we headed to appt. After appt, took the girls to get lunch and run another errand. Called Dad and said I would run home take a quick shower and be up to get him. He was ready then so I dropped Mr F off, grabbed diaper bag (Mr F still on painkillers) and went to pick Dad up with big girls and baby. Girls immediately get into fight, I turn around and make one of them stay with Mr F. Got Dad and made the hour drive to his house. Realized that he has very little food in the house and I have nothing to feed the kids and in his small town they don't have fast food and everything else closes early and also forgot a bottle for the baby - not a good thing to forget. Finally get home at 10:00 with 2 very hungry tired kids, hungry smelly tired worried Mommy. Finally get a shower (3 days later, yes I went 3 days without a shower) and food not fried and not fast.
8/1 Tried to get caught up on laundry and clean up because SIL and family will be visiting on Monday. Went to outdoor theater in 1000% humidity and heat that caused my feet to swell so badly that I had to go barefoot. Got home very late and looking forward to sleeping in.
8/2 phone rings at 8:00 a.m. Dad on his way back up to ER, his neighbor is going to drive him. Met them at hospital after breaking up several fights (the teenage years are clearly going to kill me) spend 5 hours in ER waiting for them to move him to a room. His stomach is so swollen he looks like he's pregnant and he is in a lot of pain. The put a tube down his nose and into his stomach to drain the stuff out. I make it home in time to go with Mr F and the girls to see some of his extended family and to be ignored by FILs bitchy girlfriend.
8/3 Spend day cleaning as much as I can and spend a few hours at hospital with Dad. Swelling has gone down some but he cannot have anything by mouth so his mouth and throat are very very dry but he is doing ok.
8/4 Tweenager has middle school training class every morning this week. Clean some more, go see Dad and take chatty to pottery camp every afternoon this week. Get groceries and head home. Guests arrive and chaos ensues. Dad is still the same, tells me I don't have to come see him because I have so much going on. Tell him that is not on the table and I will be there every day.
8/5 MS training, Pottery camp go to brunch with guests and then head to family therapy. Head to hospital while guests go visit some other friends. Dad hasn't improved much if any.
8/6 MS training, Pottery camp, take Smiley to the pediatric asthma specialist and find out that yes, she does have asthma and put together action plan. At the same time Mr F is at the other end of town with Chatty at her psychiatrist appointment. Decide her stimulant meds are ok but need to add a mood stabilizer (not happy about this but am going to try for 6 wks) to help with her anger issues. I drop Smiley at sitters, head to school to pick up Tweenager and Chatty to take Chatty back to other end of town for appointment with psychologist. While waiting on Dr, Dad calls, morning xrays were worse than prior days and he will be having surgery but not sure when. Go ahead with appt and head home. Go pick up Smiley and Chatty and Dad calls again will be doing surgery soon. Speed home drop all kids with SIL (Mr F on his way home) and head to hospital. Delayed surgery to 9:00 and then it was bumped up and then moved back. Dr explains that he is concerned because Dad's bowels and intestines do not appear to be working and they need to know why. Will do scope unless they find anything big and then they would have to open him up to fix. I am scared shitless and very very worried that he will die. Mr F bring me a sandwich and SIL to sit with me while I waited, both were welcomed. Surgery is quick. A band of fat has slipped down and obstructed the bowel. Dr took it out and said everything else looked good - no bowel/intestine perforations etc. He got back to room at 11:00 I told him goodnight and headed home.
8/7 MS training, Pottery Camp. Talked to Dad this morning, told him what they found in surgery etc. He was pretty groggy so I told him I would come up later. Toilet flooded not sure why. BIL tried like to fix but was unsuccessful. Saw guests off. Took big girls to lunch and then ran some errands. Black sheep brother called and was pissy with me because Dad isn't feeling good because you know that is my responsibility. Head to hospital and Dad really does not feel good. Dr came in and pulled back to covers and Dad's stomach looked like it did 5 days ago - swollen and it is very very tender to touch. Dad told Dr that he had had a very bad day which is not like my Dad at all. Dr says he will give it another 24 hours. I asked what would happen after 24 hours and he didn't really have an answer, he only said I can't imagine that he wouldn't be better. But I can tell he is perplexed. As he was standing there, I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head.
So that has been my last 10 days, I have been so busy it has not been funny but it has done one good thing, take my mind off the fact that as of Sunday Mom will have been gone for a year. My diet has been crappy, I haven't been getting enough sleep and my emotions are on the surface. I am so afraid of losing my Dad. I was already battling the depression and this is not helping but I cannot find the time to get in to see a Dr. Hell I can't even get the prescriptions my kids need filled. I am being pulled in 50 different directions and to top all of that off, when I got home tonight Smiley fell and hit her mouth and had a breath holding spell which means she holds her breath until she passes out - I had the phone in my hand ready to call 911 when she finally came around.
I haven't done any back to school shopping, Tweenager had to cancel a planned movie outing where I was going to take her and several friends to see a movie because if anything happens with Dad I need to get to the hospital quickly and can't have other kids with me - too stressful. Tweenager was as understanding as she could be but the poor baby was so upset and she has been planning this for 2 weeks. She is also experiencing a high amount of anxiety related to starting middle school in a couple of weeks
I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks, including a small task called finding a job since my severance and insurance run out at the end of the month. To say I am stressed is a small understatement. I know I need to take care of myself but I can honestly say, I don't know how. Therapist says I need to take time for myself but I don't have time to find someone to take care of my kids and Mr F is pretty much back in school mode. He starts soccer practice next week and then school starts and then soccer season starts and then it is pure craziness.
I know it will slow down soon and I will be able to relax once things settle down a bit but until then I am hanging on by a thread, a very thin thread but I am hanging on nonetheless.
Now I am off to feed my inner rockstar with some Guitar Hero 3.
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