I don't think I have ever blogged about my family or really much about politics (although early on I think I did have a small rant about singing the national anthem in spanish) but I am going to venture into this topic today because I just heard something that has me rattled.
I am the youngest of 3. My brothers are 10 & 7 years older than me and admittedly we are not very close. I would like to blame it on the age difference but really we have nothing in common outside of my Dad and it became very apparent to me when we were dealing with Mom's illness and subsequent death that while I love my brothers because they are my brothers, I really don't care for them.
My oldest brother (who lives in the same metro area that I do and I still only see him on holidays and then probably only every other year or so) is VERY VERY conservative and very judgmental. When we were younger, we had a fairly good relationship but as we got older and our personalities formed our relationship changed but I still talked to him and sought him out occasionally for advice. When he got married, our relationship changed again and then as we have both had families and moved firmly into adulthood it has become very apparent that we have absolutely nothing in common - not even kids because he parents VERY differently than I do and well we just both have different values - not one better than the other but very different.
My middle brother is the proverbial black sheep of the family. We did not get along growing up and I grew to resent him for the pain and heartache he put my parents through. As we got older, he resented me because I was spoiled but also because I am very close to our parents. He failed to see that I held a job through high school and college and paid for many of the things he expected Mom and Dad to pay for. I was far from perfect but he thought I thought I was better than him. He has changed somewhat but we still do not have anything close to resembling a sibling relationship. He recently got married and at 44 expected my Dad (who lives on social security and a small retirement) to foot the bill - that is a post for a whole other day. He doesn't have any kids so even when we do talk it is meaningless small talk.
So here is where I venture outside of my comfort zone.
My nephew is graduating from high school this weekend. He is a good good kid. He makes decent grades, babysits for neighbors, attends church and has even gotten his Eagle Scout award. He is a jr police officer for the small town that he lives in and plans to pursue a career in law enforcement after college.
My nephew is 18 and still does not have his driver's license because my brother does not want to pay for the insurance increase. He contacted me a couple of months ago about cell phones (I used to work for a telecom) so for a graduation gift, I offered to buy him a phone and pay for the plan until he got a job. It was a great deal because of my employee benefits I could put him on a good plan dirt cheap. Me, being the responsible sister that I am, call my brother to run it by him to make sure they were OK with it. They were not. He is not responsible enough, he is too immature and we don't want to get stuck paying for the bill when he doesn't (which wouldn't have happened because I would have been liable). Did you read the part up there about him being a good kid and having his eagle scout????
My brother and his wife have sheltered my nephew so much that that haven't allowed him any opportunities to mature or prove that he is responsible. And now the kicker, the immature kid is being "presented with the opportunity" to join the national guard. Right now I will freely admit I am making some broad assumptions because I think my brother does not want to pay for college so he wants C to do something where someone else will pick up the bill (GI Bill etc) so he is "strongly encouraging" this. The same kids who does not have a drivers license and has never had anything close to resembling freedom is being asked to make a life changing decision without the tools necessary to evaluate the impact of this decision.
I am sick to my stomach over this. The unit he would be joining has already been deployed to Iraq twice. According to my Dad, he would get his college paid for and would have to have active duty once a month and go through boot camp this summer. Now we all now that the military is short of bodies and I don't for one minute think that his being in college will keep him from being deployed. I want to tell him not to do it. Risking his life because his Dad is a cheap ass is not worth it. I want to tell him to go to college and get his education and I will get him a cell phone so he can be a normal kid. I want him to make friends and find a girlfriend without his parents interference. I do not want him to be in harms way and I cannot believe that my brother is encouraging this.
Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful for those who put their lives on the line or those who have lost their lives for our freedom. I do not agree with the war, I never have because I think we were mislead but I think we are too far in this and and leaving the area too early will result in devastation to that area that I don't even want to fathom. Because of this, I am fairly sure that at some point my nephew would be put in harms way (he will more than likely be a MP because of his jr police training). I am just devastated by this but I don't have the relationship with my brother or his bitchy wife (who did not attend my mother's funeral) to say anything. Mr F thought he might try to talk to C to see if he could get a handle on his feelings but that probably won't happen.
So I just sit here and cross my fingers and hope beyond all hope that that if this does happen it is for the right reasons not the wrong reasons and hope that my sweet, kind nephew will be OK>